


When the Autumn Leaves Fall on Schitt’s Creek

by Apropos_of_Nothing



Category: Schitt's Creek
Genre: Autumn, Established Relationship, Establishing traditions, Fall feels, Gore and Gourds, Idiots in Love, M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-10-28
Updated: 2020-10-28
Packaged: 2021-03-08 20:27:34
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,315
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/27252658
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Apropos_of_Nothing/pseuds/Apropos_of_Nothing
Summary: “How about just a good ol’ fashion pumpkin patch?”“A pumpkin patch?”“Yeah you know. Like a patch with pumpkins on it,” Patrick states matter-of-factly.“And what? You just go to this plot of land and stare at a bunch of gourds? Sounds incredibly boring.”
Relationships: Patrick Brewer/David Rose
Comments: 12
Kudos: 60





	When the Autumn Leaves Fall on Schitt’s Creek

**Author's Note:**

> David and Patrick go to a pumpkin patch together. Enjoy!

Patrick flips through channels on the TV just as mindlessly as he combs his other hand through David’s soft hair. It was a rarity for David to let Patrick touch his hair, let alone play with it. But Patrick had come to learn that there are only three circumstances which allow for such a miracle to occur: 1) David is not feeling well (i.e. sick, drunk, etc.), 2) David is cold, or 3) David is too tired to swat Patrick’s hand away.

Lucky for Patrick, the rare trifecta is transpiring. After a long day at work, David complained of a headache and crawled into bed. That, coupled with the cold brisk autumn air, is making David feel especially tired and needy. Patrick’s fingers drag through the thick black hair, raking through the flat weaves which are normally filled with product. 

He skims through movies and shows, eventually landing on ‘A Nightmare on Elm Street’ just as a particularly gory slasher scene unfolds.

David stirs slightly on his chest and moans. “Who would subject themselves to watching something so graphic? And poorly explicit at that?”

“Well it’s a classic. And it is that time of year.”

“Horror movies are just a gimmick for this ridiculous holiday.”

Patrick gasps with feign surprise of David’s animosity for Halloween. The subject came and went every year. And with every year, Patrick tried his best to convince David of the charms of the season.

“The second movie is even better though. Hands down the gayest horror film ever made,” Patrick offers.

That peeks David’s interest a little. “I’m listening.”

Patrick runs with little momentum he has. “Yeah the two friends have some intense sexually-charged interactions. There is a gay bar. Freddy practically sticks his fingers down the lead character’s throat. It’s a wonderful mess.”

David hums in consideration. “Fine we will watch it. But that doesn’t change the fact that I hate horror movies. And this time of year.”

“Aw come on David. We never do anything festive during fall.”

The fabric of his shirt scrunches up from the grimace David makes against his chest. “I watched a leaf fall from the tree in front of the house. That must count for something.”

“It does not,” Patrick chuckles. “We should try something new this year.”

Silence. He thinks David is just ignoring the statement or maybe has fallen asleep. And then, “Like what?”

The simple question makes his heart clench with happiness. David stepping out of his comfort zone to try something new with his husband always made him feel loved. He kisses the top of David’s head and ponders the possibilities. “Haunted house?”

“Do I seem like someone who would fare well with random strangers yelling at me and touching my body?”

“Mmm corn maze?”

“And get lost forever with some creepy children trying to sacrifice me or whatever? No thank you.”

“I thought you didn’t watch horror movies,” Patrick grumbles. “How about an autumn fair?”

“I know you would force me onto one of those death-trap rides. So…no.”

“How about a timeless fall sport? Flag football?”

“…You’re joking right?”

Patrick chuckles and searches for a million more options of fall-related activities that David will shoot down, enjoying hearing his ridiculous excuses along the way. He finally lands on a classic. “How about just a good ol’ fashion pumpkin patch?”

“A pumpkin patch?”, David looks up at him with bewilderment.

“Yeah you know. Like a patch with pumpkins on it,” Patrick states matter-of-factly.

“And what? You just go to this plot of land and stare at a bunch of gourds? Sounds incredibly boring,” David says with a scoff.

Patrick stares at him for a few seconds, a smirk quickly growing on his face making it impossible to hide his amusement.

“What?”, David deadpans. He shifts uncomfortably under Patrick’s gaze. “What is it?”

“David,” he says seriously, “Do you know what a pumpkin patch is?”

“Ummm yeah. I obviously know what a pumpkin patch is. As you just stated, it’s a… piece of land in which this unconventional seasonal fruit is grown on.”

Patrick can’t hold back and doubles over with laughter. David grabs for Patrick’s hand still weaved into the hair on his head and throws it off of him in annoyance. “Hey!”

Still giggling, Patrick tries to calm down and reach for David’s hands. “Aw come on now. I’m just messing with you. By definition, you are correct!”

David huffs and scoots further over on the bed, crossing his arms in defiance. Patrick can’t help but think how adorable he looks when he is pouty like this. He runs a soothing hand over David’s blanketed leg. “A pumpkin patch is where you go to pick your pumpkins.”

“Pick it for what?”

“Um for Halloween? For carving or decorating or eating.”

David scoffs again. “Sounds ridiculous.”

“Well the patch itself usually has some fun things. Like pumpkin pie and apple cider,” he reveals knowingly.

David side-eyes him a little, arms still crossed but his body language opening a little more. He only hums in acknowledgement.

“And they usually have nice flowers and décor for sale.” Patrick smiles at the way David shifts slightly in protest and interest. He carries on. “And usually there are places to take pictures, especially at sunset.”

David finally breaks and speaks. “You know I like a good sunset picture.”

“Mhmm.”

“And I haven’t had pie since last Thanksgiving at your parents.”

“That’s true.”

“And I don’t _hate_ the idea of wearing my new sweater that will obviously go well with the theme of this event.”

“Black?”

“Black.” Obviously. “Maybe I would be interested in getting one of those pumpkin things as well if you made me some pumpkin bread out of it.”

Patrick just laughs and reaches for David’s hand. He lets him hold it. “Deal.”

\---

Patrick drags David by the overly long sleeve of his sweater through the rows of seasonal gourds. The air is surprisingly nippy for Schitt’s Creek weather this time of year and the breeze refuses to let up, carrying leaves across their path. The cold autumn air, the crisp leaves crunching beneath his hiking boots and the smell of cinnamon wafting from the small tent are heaven to Patrick. However, David is carefully stepping over the fallen leaves on the ground in order to not dirty his new Alexander McQueen shoes.

“I love the feeling of these pumpkin patches,” Patrick sighs with contentment and honesty.

David half-heartedly swats at a fly. “Hmm yeah. I mean… I could do without the ‘feeling’ of bugs and spiders on my body.” Two kids run by past their feet, chasing one another through the field. David grabs at his chest in shock. “And you could have told me about all the other pests around,” he hisses in regard to the copious amounts of families present.

Patrick smirks noticing that David’s black sweater and irritated expression do match perfectly with the seasonal aesthetic. He holds David’s hand tighter in his own, directing him to a small tent filled with seasonal treats that are sure to brighten David’s mood.

“Two Apple cider’s please,” Patrick asks politely and without hesitation. He feels David pulling at his sleeve like a little kid. Patrick doesn’t have to look at him to know what he wants. “And a slice of the pumpkin pie please. Extra whip cream on top if ya can.”

The woman at the small booth hands them a large slice of pie with a generous amount of whip cream. Although Patrick grabs two forks, he knows the majority of the pie will be eaten with only one of the utensils. And he is perfectly okay with that when he sees David’s eyes light up at the sight of the plate. It only takes 3 minutes for the delicious pie to be devoured, just in time for their apple ciders to be ready.

“Yeah we definitely need more of that,” David hums as he licks his fingers with the contents of the remaining crumbs from the plate.

Patrick watches him fondly. He leans in and catches David’s mouth with his own unexpectedly. He tastes the sweet whip-cream on David’s lips and the various spices on his tongue. Patrick wants to be wrapped up in this feeling for the rest of this season. He cups David’s cheek and runs his fingers over the growing stubble on his face. Reluctantly, he pulls away and smiles at his stunned husband. “Alright well then let’s go choose some pumpkins”, Patrick exclaims far-too-enthusiastically.

Still stunned, David drags himself behind, apple cider in hand. They weave through the bigger pumpkins, eyeing the different shapes and sizes. “So which one of these would be the best for you to make me all the pumpkin bread and pie?”

“Oh so now I have to make you pie as well?”

“Well I forgot how good it was until now.”

“Alright I will make you pie, _but_ you have to help me pick some out.”

Patrick stops to pick up one from the ground to examine it more thoroughly. “Eh too pimply.”

“Wow. Reminds me of what everyone used to say about me in high school.”

Patrick laughs and puts the pumpkin down to continue, stopping every few seconds to pick a new one up. “Look at the little stem on this one. It has a coif like you David.”

“Okay are we going to compare all the pumpkins to me?! Because if so, I am going to need to leave.”

“No, not all of them. This super orange one kind of looks like Trump.”

David snorts and picks up a green one. “This reminds me of Stevie. Very witch-like.”

“I’m telling her you said that.”

“Please do.”

“Oh how about this one?” Patrick holds up a small symmetrical pumpkin with a pink gold tone to it. Patrick contemplates his own question and answers, “It’s a little bit like Alexis.”

Somehow David understands what he means, nodding. “I can see that.” David catches onto the game and scans the patch for what he is looking for. A large pumpkin with natural pin stripes of orange and black calls to him. He lifts it up, pointing the dramatic object towards Patrick.

“Okay that HAS to be your mom.”

“Pretty sure I’ve seen her in this exact outfit before. All it needs now is a wig.”

Patrick blows air out of his nose in small chuckle of agreeance. “Oh and that long white gourd has to be Jake.”

Scrunching his nose up, David scoffs. “Um why?”

“Cause it looks like a dick,” Patrick replies straight-faced.

David snorts and holds Patrick’s hand as he pulls them forward through more rows, pointing at a few calabashes as they go. “Okay what about that one?”

“Oh that is _definitely_ Roland.”

They carry on picking up pumpkin after pumpkin, claiming each one to be someone else in town. Without intending to, David thoroughly enjoys himself. They end up deciding on the pumpkin version of Ray and Ronnie to carry home with them.

Nearing the end of the patch, Patrick detaches himself from David’s arm linked with his own. He bends down to the ground and picks up a small, orange gourd. “I like this one. It reminds me of you.”

David eyes up the simple pumpkin. “It looks _very_ basic.”

Bringing it to David’s eye level, Patrick admires it. “It’s small. And cute. And it has this little twisty top that looks like your naturally curly hair.”

David looks at him unimpressed. “I am not small or cute. And I would prefer you not call my hair a ‘twisty top’.”

“Noted,” Patrick laughs and changes his approach. “Well how about I like it because it’s beautiful. And clearly very smart. Well-dressed obviously. Witty. Sarcastic. A pumpkin that clearly cares very deeply about other’s and things that it is passionate about. It’s a gorgeous, clever, kind-hearted…pumpkin.”

David blushes and grins at his idiot of a husband. Only Patrick could make him feel complimented while being compared to a pumpkin.

Patrick holds the pumpkin between them and leans in to give David a swift kiss on the cheek. “Someone would say this pumpkin is…simply the best pumpkin.”

David groans. “You ruined it.”

“Impossible. And we are adding this one to the pile,” Patrick proclaims as he grabs at David’s free hand. Despite the coldness in his fingers, Patrick still enjoys the feeling of David’s icy rings pressed against his skin.

“So will you be cooking my pumpkin pie tonight with this ‘David pumpkin’?”

“Hmm I think so. With any luck, I’ll be eating David by the end of the night,” Patrick comments slyly. 

David bumps his hip into Patrick’s to shut him up but smiles against his own will. Patrick takes the opportunity to pull out his phone and ask a stranger to take a photo of them with their pumpkin selections. Surprisingly, David doesn’t hate how it turns out. He may look smiley and in-love but yeah, he is a sucker for a good sunset picture.

“This is definitely getting added to the collection,” Patrick grins at his phone. He stores the picture away along with all the other photoshoots from seasonal events Patrick had established, including the annual summer barbecue with their families and the yearly Christmas tree decorating with Stevie.

How did Patrick somehow always convince him to enjoy things that seemed impossible to like? Things that had once been associated with memories and events he did not care to revisit? And now he was going to have to do this absurd pumpkin patch thing every year, along with the countless other ridiculous traditions Patrick had created with him throughout the years.

He holds his tiny David pumpkin and kisses Patrick spontaneously, just as his husband had done a short while ago. He tastes like apple cider and autumn and home.

He wouldn’t have it any other way.

**Author's Note:**

> Happy fall! I am loving all this autumn content everyone is putting out so I was inspired to write my own. It has been sooo long since finishing my last fic DYWTWIF, and my writing is super rusty but I thought I would try dipping my toes back in with something short (Can you believe this was supposed to be a small one shot? Apparently it’s impossible for me to write less than 2000 words). Thanks for reading!


End file.
